Ashley – from the Crazy Life Of Smash – has asked me to be the next stop on her blog tour! Ashley was the first mom-blogger to reach out to me when I first started blogging back in June. She stumbled onto my blog, read one of my posts and she left me an emphatically commiserate comment on my page. I felt like the new kid at school and it was like she just walked up and said hello. From there we bonded over our kids peeing the bed and being assholes ($0.25) at dinner. I instantly loved her and stalked her like Crazy Eyes from OITNB!
Now she’s put me in the hot seat!
1. What are you working on?
– I’m working on two posts right now. One is a top ten list and those are hella hard. The other hovers around the subject of why all women are sometimes bat-shit-fucking-crazy ($0.50). I actually never considered myself to be all that crazy. Then I had daughters. So I’m just trying to nail that idea down.
2. Why do I write?
– I’ve got five kids ranging from high school to toddler and a husband who works long hours. My load is heavy sometimes, often very serious and totally not funny. I know I’m not alone. Even parents of just one child know that parenthood is one gigantic circle-jerk. My day-in day-out is full off medical problems, school struggles, pee and poop, feeding issues, therapies, counselors, meetings, insurance companies, broken appliances, bad customer service and when I’m done with all that, I’m faced with parenting magazines and well-meaning celebrities reminding me that I also need to be good to myself, do Tabata!, enjoy the little things, take mental pictures, 30 Days of Kid-Friendly Crafts!, be on the PTO, get involved!, be a band parent, and bake organic, non-GMO birthday cakes from scratch with all-natural whole foods without any peanut or tree-nut products, topped with a vegan sugar-free frosting and served on a non-toxic dye-free BPA-free 100% post-consumer recycled paper plate featuring cartoon characters who make ethically defensible choices in half-hour chunks.
And if that’s not enough, there’s the age-old dilemma familiar to all women for all time: should I or should I not get bangs?
I love my family and I adore my children but if I’m going to make it to the other side of this gig intact, I have to find and write about The Funny. I mean to keep it simple. I don’t really want to get political or get too much into social issues. I just think we all need to laugh more and I’m offering up myself and my family as fodder for hilarity. And if Huffpo ever wants to throw my stuff up on their web site, well, that would be okay, too.
3. How does my writing differ from others in my genre?
– Well, my shtick, if you will, is to throw a quarter into my virtual swear jar every time I use a fucking ($0.25) expletive. Do you see what I did just there? Then I donate the money in the swear jar to a charity chosen by someone who reads and comments on a blog post.
In terms of content, I’m really just shooting for I-just-shit-my-pants-I’m-laughing-so-hard ($0.25) humor. Sometimes I get there, sometimes I don’t. It’s a tough genre to write unless you’re topics of the week are either farts or My Fat Ass which are universally hilarious.
4. How does my creative writing process work?
– My husband and I bounce ideas off of each other constantly and he helps me to really hone in on what’s funny about a particular situation because – and I’m just being honest – when I fell into a toilet at the Zoo, I wasn’t laughing. Then I sit down and brain-dump. I know you’re not supposed to edit your writing when you’re putting down a first draft but I can’t help it. I’m a little OCD so if it’s doesn’t read exactly how I mean it to read then I’ll keep working the same paragraph until it does which is why I only post once a week.
Enough about me. On to my featured bloggers!
Laundry Fairy Tales – Life Beyond The Hamper
1. I am the Laundry Fairy. My days and nights consist of filling hampers, washing clothes, folding, and putting it all away…you know, when I am not busy watching Netflix, going out to lunch with friends, and taking the occasional nap! My blog tells about my world beyond the hamper as I try to find the humor in day to day things. I marvel at the funny stuff my children do and say, and they inspire much of my material. People watching is my hobby and I could write an entire book on the craziness I have witnessed!
2. I’m not the beauty queen type at all. I’m pretty sure I have worn make-up two times in my life…once for my prom, and once the day I got married. I prefer all natural. These days in particular, all natural means my hair is graying and the wrinkles are taking root on my forehead. I am going to embrace them with pride since I blame most of them on parenthood. There will probably come a day when I feel the need to start wearing make-up and at that point I am hoping it will take at least 20 years off of my face!! I have NEVER owned a pair of high heels, EVER. There isn’t a need for them as far as I am concerned, and they just plain look uncomfortable. I wear flip flops nine months a year, and cowgirl boots the other three. Flip flops make me truly happy. They make my feet smile with comfort, and they also serve as a nice weapon to slap someone if they should get out of line…I haven’t had to do that YET, but you never know!
3. I’m a simple, stay at home mom. My daily uniform consists of cut off sweat pants or yoga pants and of course an oversized t-shirt. It is a uniform that serves me well…be it at the ball field cheering on my kids, or at home scrubbing a toilet. I also LOVE to cook…and eat for that matter. I’m quite handy with tools and am never scared to tear something up in order to fix it…and when it backfires, I am really good at calling my hubby to come fix what I have demolished. My hubby of 14 years gladly shares my heart with our son and twin daughters. I have a beautiful life…especially beyond the hamper!
My blog is kind of a little bit of everything I like…with a focus on organic food deals and shopping deals (not necessarily organic shopping, just shppoing. I’m addicted to online shopping….it’s a problem. 🙂 So the jist of my site: Being a mom, eating organically on a budget, saving money, couponing (organic only), Free stuff, reviewing products and an area I need to work on is health promotion. I’m a mom of 2 kids, a girl who is 3 next month and a 8 month old boy.
1. I’m a full time Pediatric RN
2. I save money with all the tricks on my site which helps fuel my online shopping addiction!
3. My most popular pin on pinterest right now is: How to get FREE Disney Goodies:
1. In the Spring of 2015 I will be skydiving for the first time. I am a fluffy woman, not obese by any means, and I am scared to death that I will exceed the weight limit for the parachute. I am adventurous by nature, so I know I have to do it. I’ve been considering losing a few pounds, but that would interfere with my winter weight that I like to maintain in order to stay warm.
2. I have two incurable diseases. Sarcasm has plagued me since I was a young child. I’ve tried to find a remedy for it. However, there is no cure. I also have multiple sclerosis (MS). Again, no cure. I am a hot mess.
3. I have a degree in genetic engineering that I’ve never really used. I thought it would impress my friends and family that I became a “scientist” instead of becoming a writer like I have always wanted. They didn’t care. Not one freakin’ bit. So, I went back to college and wasted some more money and learned absolutley nothing that I didn’t already know. Wish I would have known I wasn’t going to do anything with that fancy degree. I could have saved myself $40,000.
Thank you, Ashley
, for asking me to be a part of your blog tour! And thank you Karen, Jessi and Nicole for keeping it going!
Total owed to the swear jar for this post: $1.25.