Frozen: Top 10 Reasons I’m Over it

Disney’s Frozen, which has grossed over $1.2 billion dollars worldwide, decisively proved that millions of mothers worldwide can be cajoled into shelling out fistfuls of dollars to satisfy their daughter’s insatiable appetite for princess-themed entertainment.  This is a well Disney has been going to for decades — our entire lives, ladies — and we keep lining up to hand them our purses.  Don’t worry, the next goddess in Disney’s princess pantheon won’t hit the big screen until 2018, and you know what that means: they’ve got 4 more years to squeeze all the blood from the Frozen turnip.   I honestly don’t know how we’re going to survive it, because we’re nine months in and I would rather pluck every last one of my nose hairs than watch this movie ever again. Continue reading

Why Frozen is causing my daughters to throw-down in fisticuffs …

Charming and cute the first twenty times I watched it, Disney’s highest grossing animated film of all time has officially worn out its welcome in my home. Frozen has transformed my innocent, tone deaf little girls into hip-swaying, mane-stroking, crotch-high-slit wearing pageant princesses and I am officially one Let It Go rendition away from the booby hatch. Continue reading

Screw the Zoo …

It was Sunday morning and I had spent nearly all day Saturday doing shit and mostly ignoring my kids so the guilt hit me square in the nose the second I woke up.  I thought a grand gesture was in order and – you know –  I’m not really sure why because no where in my “How To Raise Kids” rule book does it say anything about my obligation to entertain them with fun and interesting things twenty-four-seven.  I blame Facebook, Pinterest and my kids’ precious little faces for the ever-present mom-guilt that plagues me.   Continue reading